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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24443152">Monday</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/letthemysterybe/pseuds/letthemysterybe'>letthemysterybe</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dialogue-Only, F/F, Face-Sitting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:34:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>905</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24443152</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/letthemysterybe/pseuds/letthemysterybe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>How many licks does it take to get two loud-mouthed witches to shut the fuck up? The world may never know. (Hermione’s counting, though).</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hermione Granger/Bellatrix Black Lestrange</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>207</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Monday</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I’m going through the depths of my tumblr and you all have to suffer for it! This is from a while back and was a short lil dialogue-only writing exercise. It was a gift wrapped in a bit of aggressive harassment for theheresto and will remain as such.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Lick.</em>
</p><p>“How was your day, darling?”</p><p>
  <em>Lick.</em>
</p><p>“Prrrtrble. Nnnbdylissnstoanythngisay — mmm.”</p><p>“Well, you do talk a lot, dear. I can imagine they’re learning to tune you out just as I have.”</p><p>“Ffffkyyu.”</p><p>“Is that not what you’re doing? OW, you bloody — Ah — ”</p><p>
  <em>Giggle.</em>
</p><p>“Don’t you dare test me.”</p><p>“Yyyulovvt.”</p><p>“Don’t tell me what I love. I’m currently in quite the advantageous position; I could suffocate you, if I wanted to. Now kiss it and tell it you’re sorry.”</p><p>...</p><p>“I said — ”</p><p>
  <em>Kiss.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“ — mmm.”</em>
</p><p>“Srry.”</p><p>“...Good girl. As you were.” </p><p>
  <em>Lick.</em>
</p><p>“Mmm. Fuck, pet. That’s it.”</p><p>
  <em>Giggle. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lick.</em>
</p><p><em>Giggle giggle.</em> </p><p>“Something funny?”</p><p>“Nnoiwasjstthnkng — ”</p><p>
  <em>Giggle.</em>
</p><p>“ — I was just thinking how funny it would be if that’s how they found me. <em>Golden Girl Killed by Death Eater Cunt; Literally.</em> Rita Skeeter could retire off that one.”</p><p>“I’m seriously considering it — did I say you could stop? And who are you calling a cunt?” </p><p>“No, and you, obviously, but — <em>AH! Fucking hell, Bella!”</em></p><p>“Did. I. Say. You. Could. Stop.”</p><p>“What the hell kind of thighs of steel shit have you been up to? I don’t need a fractured cheekbone — ”</p><p>“I happen to have it on good authority that you <em>love</em> my thighs.”</p><p>“Well...yes, but youregnnabreakmmyfacemm...mmmm...”</p><p>“You were saying?”</p><p>“Fffk. Yyu.”</p><p>“We’ve been over this — <em>ah</em> — and this is why no one listens to you at work, darling. You talk too fucking much.” </p><p>“Mmme?”</p><p>“Yes, you.”</p><p> “Tryspendnganhourwyourslfbella.”</p><p>“Shut your damn mouth.”</p><p>“...k.”</p><p>“Wha — <em>not what I meant.”</em></p><p>
  <em>...</em>
</p><p>“Come<em> on.”</em></p><p>
  <em>...</em>
</p><p>“Open your fucking mouth and get back to work or I will show up to the Ministry myself and hex your coworkers to Siberia for giving you attitude.”</p><p><em>Giggle.</em> </p><p>“That wasn’t meant to be funny! It was a threat. I would make a big scene and get you fired.”</p><p>“But that’s so noble of you! You would really stand up for your little damsel like that? Publicly?”</p><p>“Only out of spite! And damsel my ass.”</p><p>“Ooh, gladly.” </p><p>“Don’t even think about it. And for Merlin’s sake, will you just — ”</p><p>
  <em>Lick.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Ahh...”</em>
</p><p>
    <em>Lick.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“...Thank you. You’re truly testing my patience today, little witch.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Yyouhvenopasenseblla.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“What do you mean I have no patience? Living with you requires the patience of a fucking saint.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Andlivngwyyourequiresthepasenseofgodhmslf.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“God himself?”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Yyys.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Try herself. I’m right here, darling. My presence and my pussy are blessings bestowed on only the worthiest of — don’t roll your eyes at me.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Yyyrsofullofyyrslf.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Yes, I am. And right now I’d rather enjoy being full of someone else, if you wouldn’t mind.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Ofcourseyourhighnss.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
   “Your Highness? Does that make — <em>ah, fuck</em> — your face my —<em> mmm</em> — my throne, then?”
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Iffitdidthenyoudnvrgetuptodoanythng. Yrrpplwouldstarve.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
 “You’re probably right — except you. You’d — <em>fuck</em> — have plenty to eat, wouldn’t you?”
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Mmmhmm.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“That’s right. Only the best for the queen’s little slut.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Mmmyyuwish.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“So do you.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“...mmmhmmmmmm.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
“That’s what I thought. Now, I wouldn’t admit this to anyone — unh — even under threat of death but I do actually want to hear about your day. I believe you left off at — <em>mmm</em> —at your idiot co...co — fffuck — your coworkers not — listening — ”
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Ugh! Ihatethmssomuch!”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“I know, pet. No one respects a — a strong woman these days — shit — do they?”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“No! Andimsmartrthnallthoseasshles.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Of course you are, darling. You’re my brilliant little know it all, aren’t you?”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Mhmm.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“And I’m the only one who gets to be mean to you.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Mmmhmmm — waitwht? Nno!”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“No? But you love it, darling.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Dnttellmewhtilove!”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
 “Alright. Keep deluding yourself — Any — <em>fuck!</em> — Anyways: bonehead coworkers?”
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“...thydonttakemesrsly.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Poor little thing. How does that make you feel?”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Mmmksmmefeelffkngmmad!”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
“As it should. Show me pet, show me how —<em> unh</em> — mad it makes you — <em>yes!”</em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Iwnttopnchevryoneofthm!”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Ahhh, yes. Right there, just like — ssssshit just like that.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Fkkthm!”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
“Yes! Fuck them! Fuck—<em>fuck— ”</em>
  
</p><p>
      <em>“FKKTHM!”</em>
    
  
</p><p>
      <em>“Mmmmyess!”</em>
    
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>“Iwnna — ”</em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
 “<em>Ahh</em>— What, dirty girl? <em>What do you want to do to them?”</em>
    
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>“IwnnaPNCH — ”</em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>“Unngh.”</em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>“EVRY — ”</em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>“Fuck!”</em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>“SNGL — ”</em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>
              <em>“Yeeesss — ”</em>
            </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>
              <em>“ONEOFTHM!”</em>
            </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
<em>“Ohmygod — ”</em>
              
            
          
        
      
    
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>
              <em>
                <em>“INTHEGDDAMNFCE!”</em>
              </em>
            </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
<em>“FUCK!”</em>
                
              
            
          
        
      
    
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>
              <em>
                <em>
                  <em>“Mmmmmmmbellaaaaaaa — ”</em>
                </em>
              </em>
            </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
                    <em>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</em>
                  
                
              
            
          
        
      
    
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>
              <em>
                <em>
                  <em>
                    <em>“Mmmmmm...”</em>
                  </em>
                </em>
              </em>
            </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
                    <em>..................</em>
                  
                
              
            
          
        
      
    
  
</p><p>
                      <em>Pant. </em>
                    
                  
                
              
            
          
        
      
    
  
</p><p>
                        <em>Pant. Pant.</em>
                      
                    
                  
                
              
            
          
        
      
    
  
</p><p>
“...Fucking <em>shit,</em> Muddie.”
                      
                    
                  
                
              
            
          
        
      
    
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>
              <em>
                <em>
                  <em>
                    <em>
                      <em>
                        <em>“Hmm?”</em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
                  </em>
                </em>
              </em>
            </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>
              <em>
                <em>
                  <em>
                    <em>
                      <em>
                        <em>“I need you to have a bad day at work more often.”</em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
                  </em>
                </em>
              </em>
            </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>
              <em>
                <em>
                  <em>
                    <em>
                      <em>
                        <em>“Oh? Did you enjoy my misery?”</em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
                  </em>
                </em>
              </em>
            </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>
              <em>
                <em>
                  <em>
                    <em>
                      <em>
                        <em>“As always.”</em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
                  </em>
                </em>
              </em>
            </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>
              <em>
                <em>
                  <em>
                    <em>
                      <em>
                        <em>“Good, because I’m still fucking livid and you’re going to have to enjoy it some more.”</em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
                  </em>
                </em>
              </em>
            </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>
              <em>
                <em>
                  <em>
                    <em>
                      <em>
                        <em>“What are you — Oi! What the bloody fuck do you think you’re doing?” </em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
                  </em>
                </em>
              </em>
            </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>
              <em>
                <em>
                  <em>
                    <em>
                      <em>
                        <em>“Usurping the throne, obviously.”</em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
                  </em>
                </em>
              </em>
            </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>
              <em>
                <em>
                  <em>
                    <em>
                      <em>
                        <em>“Do you really think I’m going to let you — ”</em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
                  </em>
                </em>
              </em>
            </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
“Yes, I do. I’m waiting for you to do anything to indicate you’re not enjoying this, beyond ogle my tits from this <em>exciting</em> new perspective. You’re transparent.”
                      
                    
                  
                
              
            
          
        
      
    
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>
              <em>
                <em>
                  <em>
                    <em>
                      <em>
                        <em>
                          <em>“Excuse me?”</em>
                        </em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
                  </em>
                </em>
              </em>
            </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
“Thighs of steel, biceps of iron, I’m intimately familiar with how much stronger you are than I am and yet I’m still up here. And I’m sure... mmm yep, you’re <em>soaking,</em> aren’t you? I’m positive I took care of all that a moment ago. You talk a big game, Bella, but your cunt has never lied to me.”
                        
                      
                    
                  
                
              
            
          
        
      
    
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>
              <em>
                <em>
                  <em>
                    <em>
                      <em>
                        <em>
                          <em>“What a filthy fucking mood you’re in.” </em>
                        </em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
                  </em>
                </em>
              </em>
            </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>
              <em>
                <em>
                  <em>
                    <em>
                      <em>
                        <em>
                          <em>“Yes. I’ve had a terrible day at work, remember? And besides, you love this mood.”</em>
                        </em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
                  </em>
                </em>
              </em>
            </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>
              <em>
                <em>
                  <em>
                    <em>
                      <em>
                        <em>
                          <em>“Don’t tell me whtilovemmfckyou!”</em>
                        </em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
                  </em>
                </em>
              </em>
            </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>
              <em>
                <em>
                  <em>
                    <em>
                      <em>
                        <em>
                          <em>“What was that?”</em>
                        </em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
                  </em>
                </em>
              </em>
            </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>
              <em>
                <em>
                  <em>
                    <em>
                      <em>
                        <em>
                          <em>“...You’re the only person on Earth who could get away with this, you know that, right?”</em>
                        </em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
                  </em>
                </em>
              </em>
            </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>
              <em>
                <em>
                  <em>
                    <em>
                      <em>
                        <em>
                          <em>“I would hope so. Not sure how I’d feel about anyone else bedding you, let alone topping you.”</em>
                        </em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
                  </em>
                </em>
              </em>
            </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>
              <em>
                <em>
                  <em>
                    <em>
                      <em>
                        <em>
                          <em>“And you’re going to be — ”</em>
                        </em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
                  </em>
                </em>
              </em>
            </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
“Yes, yes. I will be punished for it later, Big Bad Bella will show me who’s <em> really</em> boss, all of that fun stuff. That’s quite the point.”
                        
                      
                    
                  
                
              
            
          
        
      
    
  
</p><p>
 “You<em> fucking lush.”</em>
                        
                      
                    
                  
                
              
            
          
        
      
    
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>
              <em>
                <em>
                  <em>
                    <em>
                      <em>
                        <em>
                          <em>“Positively wanton. Now, Bella...”</em>
                        </em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
                  </em>
                </em>
              </em>
            </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>
              <em>
                <em>
                  <em>
                    <em>
                      <em>
                        <em>
                          <em>“...Mmm?”</em>
                        </em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
                  </em>
                </em>
              </em>
            </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>
              <em>
                <em>
                  <em>
                    <em>
                      <em>
                        <em>
                          <em>“Why don’t you tell me about your day?”</em>
                        </em>
                      </em>
                    </em>
                  </em>
                </em>
              </em>
            </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I like to think they recently let the ‘Love’ bomb drop and that’s why they’re having fun throwing the word around so much.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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